If this is your first year co-parenting with an ex, you are likely in for a bumpy ride (at least at first). Most recently divorced parents struggle with co-parenting issues and worry about their kids when they are with their other parent.
If you want to reduce friction and cultivate civility in your school-year custody agreement, the following tips might be useful.
Determine what works
Every family is unique and brings their own complex dynamics to the custody matter. Some families have to be quite creative to ensure each parent gets to spend quality time with their children.
Below are some examples of families with different scheduling needs:
- Shiftworkers – Think doctors, nurses, plant operators, police and firefighters.
- Military – Custody plans must reflect temporary duty (TDY) and overseas deployments.
- Workers traveling for their jobs – Anyone whose duties take them away from the kids during parenting time.
These are but a few examples of families who must think outside the box when drafting custody agreements.
Families outgrow custody orders
Just as your children outgrow toys and clothing, so do they outgrow original custody orders. If your court order was signed when your kids were toddlers or pre-schoolers and they are now in junior high or high school, it’s probably time to update that custody plan to better meet their current needs.
Can’t parents just privately agree to changes?
Sometimes they can. Until they can’t. Not having a viable custody order in place might not matter at first, but what happens if co-parents can’t agree on proposed changes?
Remember, the old order remains in force until it is modified or the kids turn 18. If either parent violates it, it’s possible they could face contempt of court charges from their co-parent. It’s far better to modify your custody order than face censure from the court.