Many divorcing parents want to know who gets to keep their children. Parents may fear that they will lose custody of their children during a divorce, especially if their spouse is uncooperative and threatening to “take the kids” when they go.
Parents need to understand the basics of child custody when negotiating arrangements. Understanding these basics can help you negotiate from a position of strength, or more confidently approach the issue in court if a judge must decide.
Joint physical and legal custody
Physical custody refers to where a child lives. A parent with physical custody is responsible for their child’s daily needs and routine. A parent with physical custody may be responsible for feeding their child and taking them to school or to doctor’s appointments, for example.
Joint physical custody means that a child lives with both parents — often fairly equally. Parents may have a custody schedule to decide what days their child lives with them. A joint physical custody schedule can rotate custody of a child every few days, weeks or months depending on what is best for the child and their parents.
Legal custody, in comparison, refers to who decides what is best for their child in certain key areas. In other words, a parent with legal custody can decide which doctor their child will see, where they go to school, what religious instruction they will receive, and more.
Joint legal custody means that both parents work together to make important life decisions for their child. This can mean that both parents have to agree to where their child goes to school or whether their child receives certain medical procedures or medication.
Sole physical and legal custody
Sole physical custody means that a child lives with only one of their parents. This parent is entirely responsible for their child’s daily care. The other parent may be given visitation rights to see their child on scheduled days. Much like sole physical custody, sole legal custody means that one parent is responsible for deciding what is best for their child’s safety, well-being and upbringing. This parent can decide where their child goes to school, their medical care or their diet without discussing it with the other parent.
It’s critical to understand that shared physical and legal custody are generally preferred — by parents and the courts. It is usually in a child’s best interests to have both parents involved in their daily life, as far as possible. Sole physical and legal custody is usually reserved for situations where one parent is deemed incapable or a threat to the child — or for rarer situations where there has been a total breakdown in the parenting relationship.
Professional legal guidance can help parents learn more about child custody law and prepare the best possible case to protect their child’s future.